I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
Randomize