if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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