Little spoons don't ask big questions
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
