he wants to bone in the snuggie
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
