im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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