I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
