Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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