THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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