i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
you have to choose: penises or morals?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
Randomize
