too bad you live with your parents still
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
