I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
