got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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