I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
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