I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize