Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
