im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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