So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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