i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Randomize
