1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Randomize
