He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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