I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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