I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
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Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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