so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Randomize
