it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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