I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
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