so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
