i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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