Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
