this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
