Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
