if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize