i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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