its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
