u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
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