I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
