i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
