This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
