But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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