Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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