You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
tonight lets celebrate not being married
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
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Clothes are such an inconvenience.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
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I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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