ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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