My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
