These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
