Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
