I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
