So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
