I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
