I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
