Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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