I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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