I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
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