Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
