you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
