how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
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