dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize