he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
