Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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