There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
