i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Please, let me fuck your mom
Small penises have feelings too.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Randomize
