i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
