i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Randomize
