I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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