accomplished twins. life is a go
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
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We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
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I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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