I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
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